“I’m a Christian, is it OK to marry an unbeliever?”
Hey look, this is an important question. God’s heart for marriage is for 2 of His children, a man and woman, to be unified as one with a central focus on JESUS and serving Him.
I’m going to say the answer is no. Although there are cases where people have married unbelievers and they converted, I think that you shouldn’t flirt to convert. (Unless you strongly feel from the Lord that who you think you should marry is it).
Here’s why I think Christians should only marry other Christians:
1. Being Christ-centred in a relationship
How will you be Christ-centred with a spouse who doesn’t even believe in Jesus? How will that spiritually nourish you? They’re supposed to be your best friend and other half, thus your primary source of encouragement, rebuke and fellowship in the Lord after the Lord Himself. You might think that you can work around that but let’s face, when you’re 10 years into your marriage and they don’t want to pray with you, don’t share verses or words from the Lord with you, don’t go to church with you and doesn’t challenge you to go deeper into your walk the Lord- you can’t just get rid of them because you have made a promise to God to be with them till death parts you.
2. YOUR CALLING!
Jesus has an incredible plan for your life- to further His Kingdom and be intimately acquainted with the Living God. How can you do this with a spouse who doesn’t understand that? Or who doesn’t want partnership with you in that area? What if the Lord calls you to serve in a foreign country and your spouse doesn’t understand that? They’re a hindrance to you, what a discouragement! Our spouses are supposed to join us in fellowship with the Lord and be in partnership with us in fulfilling our calling as children of God to share the gospel.
3. Raising Children
Unbelieving spouses, whilst they may uphold righteous values, will serve as an example to your children that Jesus isn’t a thing or isn’t valuable. God’s heart for raising children is to raise them in the Church, in knowledge and understanding of scripture, of all spiritual things so that they ultimately may grow to be strong warriors of the Spirit. Don’t settle for less than this people!
4. Standards and boundaries
A loving relationship would honour and understand the physical boundaries one wishes to uphold. You need someone who will not only respect your decisions but desire to uphold them also, like choosing to leave sex until after marriage, like leaving your first kiss to your wedding day/engagement (depending on how you want your wedding photos to look, lol), and whatever other boundaries you feel called to set. Even if you’re dating a Christian, an immediate red flag in a relationship is when you feel pressured into doing physical things that you don’t feel is appropriate. You need someone who won’t make you feel like you’re being over-the-top with your boundaries and standards, but someone who understands them and honours them.
Don’t settle for less than God’s best for you xo